Shells
by aavonlea
Summary: For Skimmons Week. Jemma notices that Skye is changing.


**(A/N) For Skimmons Week, Day 6 - Vulnerability**

"You can't keep doing this," Jemma said, a slight tremor in her voice. "Go on missions, yes. Save people, yes. But for God's sake, be sensible!"

"I've already been grilled by Coulson and May, Jem. I don't need another lecture," Skye replied.

"You could've been told off by the bloody queen and I wouldn't care! If you think you're not going to get hell from your girlfriend for what you did, you have another thing coming!" Jemma was shouting, practically screaming.

Skye was properly silent now, her eyes widened in shock at the reaction of her girlfriend. Although she supposed she shouldn't have been shocked at all, given the fact that she was being patched up by Simmons for what was the third time in the past eight weeks.

Jemma was quiet after that, not meeting Skye's eyes, and the atmosphere around them became heavy as lead. Skye peered through the bullet-proof glass wall of the Playground infirmary. The set-up here was completely different from the Bus. Skye liked it. Different things can be good for you sometimes. Through the glass, she could see small groups of people - basically all that was left of SHIELD, tiny troops - running to and fro in aftermath of the mission. Either making sure the prisoners were secure or making sure none of the civilians involved went without being questioned before their release. There were a few civilians who wouldn't be questioned for the moment, and they were all in the next room with one of the Playground doctors. Skye could hear the whispers of hushed voices behind the closed doors, as well as someone who was obviously sobbing in grief.

Skye saved almost all of them. Fought off several guards single-handed, got three of the four captives out in time, and got a knife in the shoulder for it. As well as lectures, lectures, and more lectures. She saved those people, and all she got were lectures and it was so stupid, so completely stupid that her fists clenched subconsciously, causing a stab of pain to shoot through her shoulder.

Jemma noticed her flinch, but didn't react. She just continued to stitch up the wound.

"Well? I'm waiting," Skye said, with perhaps more animosity than she had meant. Jemma looked at her blankly, so Skye ploughed ahead. "Aren't you going to tell me off? Everyone else has, and like you said I should know better than to expect anything else from my girlfriend."

"Stop. Just stop," Jemma said, her eyes watering.

"Well, where is it?! Where's my lecture?" Skye repeated, angrier than she should've been.

"I'm done," Jemma said, turning around. "Your wound is stitched, you're free to go."

Skye mentally slapped herself. She could be such an idiot sometimes. Jemma hadn't done anything to her, and here Skye was, yelling at her.

"Jem-"

"Just," Jemma interrupted, turning back around and Skye saw tears falling down over her cheeks, "just… promise me something? Don't put yourself in danger again."

"I promise," Skye said automatically.

Jemma exited the room before Skye could say anything else.

Well, it wasn't the first promise Skye had broken. Sure enough, she was back in the infirmary a week later, the knife wound on her shoulder not even really healed and now with one just like it in her side. This one was worse than the last, as that one hadn't been in a very vulnerable spot. Her side though? If Trip hadn't found himself in that part of their perp's hideout at that exact time she might've bled out.

When the door opened and closed, she braced herself for what was about to come. Jemma strode to her bedside in four long steps, sitting herself down in the chair beside it with her arms crossed. The expression on her face was unreadable.

"I suppose you have some sort of explanation for why you broke your promise? I'd love to hear it," Jemma said, the tremor back in her voice.

Skye's head ached, her body ached, she was tired, and she really _really_ didn't want to deal with this right now but she had to. "Jems, I-"

"Don't you get it? I couldn't deal with it if… if you…" Jemma closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then continued. "Fitz is still comatose, Skye."

Skye's mouth hung open for a moment. This was not what she had expected to hear. "Jem-" she started, but Jemma cut her off again.

"He could be gone at any time. Gone," she said. "And if you were too… I couldn't… please…"

Skye hadn't realized Jemma was so vulnerable, although she should have. "I'm not going to die, Jemma. I swear to you, _I'm not going to die_," she said firmly, reaching a hand over to place on Jemma's.

"Don't you see what's happening to you? No, you don't. But I do," Jemma went on. "You've been training harder than ever, now that you're with May and not…"

"Ward," Skye said.

"And you're trying to make yourself invincible, but you're not invincible Skye! You are _vulnerable!_"

"I don't have to be!" Skye found herself shouting before she could stop herself, and then gasped as fiery pains shot through her body.

Jemma was on her feet, stroking Skye's hair as the pains started to subside, a look of concern on her face. "You're changing, Skye," she continued. "You're acting differently. I catch you with a cold expression, or like you're not feeling anything at all."

"I'm not changing," Skye said through gritted teeth. "And I'm not that stupid little kid you guys kidnapped all those months ago. I've woken the fuck up. I'm learning to protect myself. I'm learning to become the person who'd pull the trigger."

"But that's not you, Skye! Protect yourself, develop your skills, but please don't put yourself in these impossible situations and don't ever change."

Skye didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. Jemma looked down at the girl in the bed, desperately trying to think of a way to get through to her, not just because she loved her or because the entire team needed her, but because Skye deserved more than she was giving herself.

Jemma knelt down next to the bed, placing her hand on Skye's cheek and pressing her lips against the other girl's.

"I love you," Jemma said when they broke apart. "I love you so much." And then she kissed her again.

Skye did change, though. She didn't get hurt very often after that, not because she was being more careful but because she was getting more skilled at field work. But more and more often, Jemma would notice how Skye's expressions lacked any feeling whatsoever, completely stoic. Like she was forming some kind of shell. All because she didn't want to be vulnerable anymore.

And Jemma didn't know what to do.


End file.
